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Messiah of the Big Boards. Part Two

Yatseniuk – Stalin and Beria of today?
Arseniy Petrovych was seriously taken ill. Some virus unknown to medical science was eroding his body from inside. The attacks of it faded in March, but the spring apparently caused them to arrive every day in May, sometimes several times a day. Arseniy Petrovych felt extremely bad on the 10th of May. He felt so bad that he could not be present at the foundation meeting of the People’ Committee for Protection of Ukraine.
He felt so bad that he even did not send his representative to this event, which took place at the House of Writers Association. In contrast to the ex-patron Viktor Andriiovych, who was also ill that day but overcame the pain and sent “mother Vira” to the House of Writers.
But the beginning of this was so good though!

Mosquito-like actions
One exalted lady, having read about the feats of arms made by our little marshal Arseniy Yatseniuk, mailed me her resentful message. The essence of her philippic laid in the following: something like, Arseniy Petrovych is a nice fellow and does his best for the people, and I hate him.
The lady was wrong. We can hate (or love) a person only for something he/she made for us. Arseniy Petrovych has not done anything to me personally, just like other candidates for the President’s post. And a person does not hate a mosquito getting into his eyes, ears, mouth – he just flicks it away. The same situation is with people who declared themselves as political elite, to which our commander Arseniy Petrovych refers himself: their attempts of blushless penetration into our brains cause only the feeling of irritation. And a person starts hating only when these fakes try to use him/her for own purposes.
Objectively speaking, Arseniy Petrovych is not the one exhibiting mosquito-like actions towards us.
For example, Yuriy Lutsenko declared himself to be a “field commander”. Obviously, the fame of Shamil Basaev or Salman Raduev was obsessing him. But those two were really leading battles in the mountains, woods, planes and fields. But Yuriy, hiding himself behind his deputy immunity, was tarring the party-mates and the youth on the officials, and then without any shame witnessed against them. Moreover, Lutsenko ranked himself as “terminator” and “racist”, apparently, in response to the criticism of one journalist who publicly said that Yuriy Vitaliiovych had “ass-like mouth”.
And Mykhailo Brodskyi appointed himself as doctor on the day before elections.
Yuriy Kostenko, calling the fellow citizens to buy only those products which were made in Ukraine, surely, drives Ukrainian Tavria, and on numerous posters he, for some reason, shyly hid his left hand with watches made in Ukraine behind his back or the jacket’s flap.
As it turned out, Volodymyr Lytvyn, was absolutely unaware that he wears sleeve-buttons costing 34 thousand hryvnias.
Anatoliy Hrytsenko removed himself as a candidate in advance declaring his own precious self as the first to not pass.
Viktor Yanukovych promised to hear everyone, though, according to his former party-mate Vasyl Kiselov, the now President did not deign to listen to him, the head of the Crimea Party Union, even once.
Yuliya Volodymyrivna Tymoshenko appointed herself as Ukraine, stating that She means she herself, and She is Ukraine.
Posters of Viktor Andriiovych Yushchenko tried to convince that there would be no Ukraine without him. Some people associating Ukraine with Yuliya Volodymyrivna were even glad with this prediction of regular Crimea citizens.

Little Marshal of Anti-Corruption Troops
But Arseniy Petrovych outshone all his colleagues engaged in this mosquito-like business.
His “go-khaki” posters attempted to deliver to the electorate the profound idea generated by the candidate for the President’s chair, reflected in the messages, something like, the country can be saved through new industrialization, village recovery and healthy nation.
Analysts immediately surmised that these posters were developed by the “Moscow hands”. The more so, as the rumors said that the PR-campaign of the marshal-to-be was headed by the Russian PR-experts.
But Arseniy Petrovych angrily rejected these assumptions, stating that he personally edited his posters. And then clingy fellow citizens, whom our little marshal considers to be at least electorate, interrogated their memory and were stunned: this is the Stalin’s plan to build socialism! And here they stressed on likeness of face imaged on the leaflets of Arseniy Petrovych with the dead Lavrentiy Pavlovych Beria!
Moreover, one of vocal advocates of Yatseniuk sent verses devoted to his cult-hero. Here it is cited in his interpretation:
“Comrade Senia, at fuming factories,
On lands covered with snow and stubble,
With your, comrade Arseniy, name
We think, and breathe, and struggle, and live!”
To my comment that this looked like an obvious rip-off, this vocal advocate answered rather reasonably: “But sincerely!”
But at that moment, Yatseniuk, being in good health and sound memory, realized that he made a mistake. And he implemented his own know-how into “go-khaki”, announcing that the country will recover from the virus of corruption. Through the laboratory test he identified this virus and named it in a rather unique manner: “yu1ya1”! It seems like he is a Doctor Mom of Novo-Petrivtsi origin!
Having identified the virus, our epidemiologist Arseniy held out a promise to destroy it. And having proclaimed the war against corruption, he disappeared to unknown direction.
His backing and opponents set to guess where the object of their affection and mockery was. The backing said that they saw how the little marshal was personally collecting his rucksack, shine his boots with a brush and girded with the shoulder belt. The mocking opponents stated that the little marshal of anti-corruption troops either joined the enemy’s side, or deserted, or laid on a stove of some widow, and, just like general Pukach, caught fish all the days long, milked cows and taught local boys how to live right. “And where are your troops? And where are the rears?”, - asked the mockers, and the Yatseniuk backing answered: “you are fools!” or: “wait and see!”
And, indeed, soon the little marshal sent a message. From somewhere underground, he declared that he would crack up both Yuliya Volodymyrivna and Viktor Fedorovych. And he made a secret hint to the female electorate on the 8th of March: something like, this is only the beginning!
As soon as Yuliya Volodymyrivna lost the President race, the backing of Arseniy Petrovych rejoiced: look how he cracked her up!
When Viktor Fedorovych, being the President, invited him for an interview, the said backing bated the breath: now he will do the same with him.
Arseniy ended the battle without any damage. But, to the amazement of Arseniy Petrovych’s backing, Viktor Fedorovych was also undamaged after the meeting with their cult-hero!
The backing set to look for the reason why the little marshal had not fulfilled his promise. And they found it on the 10th of May 2010: they say, Arseniy Petrovych Yatseniuk was taken ill with virus yu1ya1, with which he had been infected staying the epicenter of the enemy contagion.
And there was nothing to say against these statements of Yatseniuk’s backing!

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